Train rides can be blog times!You'd think after doing this for 4 months I'd have learned my lesson...
But that would take all the fun out of the adventure right?
It's my first train ride of this trip and I'm as hung over as a seasick dog thats just ate a bar of soap. Rolling out at 7:30 and crossing Paris on a Saturday morning was a breeze. Two metro lines; line 1 and line 4, from Bastille transferring at Chalet on-route to Gare Montparnasse Bienvenue to catch my 9:20 TGV to Toulouse. This 6.5 hour train would slice a direct route south-south-west through most of France.
Wait wait wait... Did I say easy trip to through Paris? Oh, I'm sorry I was totally kidding.
I almost forgot! I was hung-over!
The trip itself would have been fine... except for the whole subway experience: frequent stopping, violent shutters and constant swaying as it bounces its way underground from station to station.
Anyone who has had the lovely experience of mixing alcoholic syrup-enhanced white wine and dark Belgian beer will tell you that this is a HORRIBLE way to start a hang-over morning.
Keep in mind, I'm not exactly traveling light. Slung snugly over my shoulders I am carrying six months worth of gear. A BIG 91 liter Eagle Creek travel pack, packed full of clothing, shoes, books and other misc goodies. 45lbs in total on my back and worn reverse-style on my front, another slightly smaller day-pack. This 13lb pack is home to everything essential and expensive. Zipped away in an
- always - visible pocket are my credit cards, passport and travel money. Everything you'd need in a pinch. Also included in this pack; laptop, camera and the ever important nalgene bottle, full of cool, delicious water.
Thanks to the front pack, balance is not an issue, but I'm not exactly light on my feet. Nor am I the most maneuverable object on a subway car. Sitting was out of the question, so I pressed my way into a carefully selected gap and I braced myself for the hellish ride... Rocking too and fro, shuttering from side to side I set off on the 30 minute ride through Paris' ass of an underground. The battle was epic, fighting the waves of cold sweat, light-headedness and the increasing urge to puke on the awful smelling bum to my side.
Stepping off the metro car into the cold, pungent, urine smelling air of the Montparnasse metro station was one of the single most rewarding experiences of my life...
The short trek to the TGV Gare gave me a glimpse of hope that maybe I'd be alright. I arrived to my platform with 30 minutes to spare and there I sat silently, blood slowly returning to my pale-white face.
Boarding was soon called and I made my way to my designated car. Unlike the rest of the trains all over Europe, the TGV's have strict seating assignments and compulsory seat reservations. A sparse peppering of heads could be seen from the aisle with many open seats. I was thrilled of the possibility to have a bench all to myself to sprawl out! I walked down the aisle towards my seat. Hidden until the last moment was a short elderly lady. I squeezed by and cough a whiff of the most rancid stinky cheese B.O. I've ever experienced. Europeans have a tendency to be a bit stinky but this was a new record. My once joyous moment of an empty seat smashed to pieces as I found myself shit out of luck. Not only did she smell like dank old cheese sandwich left in the sun for days, but she was eating something that smelled nearly as equal as her!
My stomach a-boil again... I put my headphones in and attempted to make the best if a stinky situation. I struggled to get in a comfortable position.
At 9:20 the train purred to life and with the slightest of tugs, we were on our way. Devastation once again dashed what little hope I had remaining to recover from the last evenings "
beaucoup de boissons."
As if it couldn't possibly get any worse...
My assigned seat was facing backwards... (The seat layout on all train cars are 50/50 front/back) A bad time to realize that I have also forgotten to take a Dramamine! For those of you who don't know...I am VERY sensitive to motion sickness; 150 mph backwards for 6.5 hours amidst one of my most epic hang-overs = I'm doomed. Frantically I scrambled to locate one of my lifesaving pills, downed as much water as I could stomach, closed my eyes and said a little prayer.

What a shit morning.
But, It's now 2:30 and I'm glad to say I'm still alive!
Chunk-free and the cheese lady even got off!!! WOOHOOO